At The End, I saw a new beginning…

I went out with Sadie Woods from Fluxcore and White Label on Sunday night after dinner at Josh’s (thanks Josh, you are an awesome cook ­čÖé

I wasn’t really up for it at first, but I chose to check out what was going on at The End at Smart Bar, a Sunday night event coordinated by DJ James Lauer featuring Chicago’s hottest cutting edge DJs (Greg Haus, Madrid, Trancid).

I got to see some faces I hadn’t seen in almost a year. It was really great reconnecting with everyone. The question of the evening that everyone was asking me was “where the hell have I been”? And my appropriate answer was “under a rock”! Well, I really got inspired by the community that these people have created and supported. And I saw endless possibilities with playing out again as a DJ with Fluxcore and as a photographer and designer – and collaborating with these DJs. Sunday night was an eye opening experience! I saw everyone as their own unique and colorful expression. I came home on Sunday.

Roller Coaster Ride

Whoah, it’s been a crazy couple of months. Let me tell ya’ – I got out of an eight and a half year relationship, lost my job, moved to another part of town, and have been discovering all the idiosyncrasies that stop me in life. I have been in one big emotional roller coaster ride, and it’s not over yet!

What I’ve realized to date is that I am way too nice, when I would rather be an asshole sometimes. It doesn’t serve people to be nice. It makes more of a difference to be straight with someone about how you feel instead of suger coating it – like icing over mud pie…

I’ve also discovered that I withhold to dominate over people. Ugh, I disgust myself sometimes. It’s all a part of being human, I know. But you know what? Despite all these things that have happened to me, and despite all the repulsive things I discovered about myself, I am still awesome.

Here’s mud in your eye with a little bit of icing from the mud pie.